my dad just secretly slid me a nugg in front of my mom. remind me why I moved away for college??
It tastes like I coughed up blood....hello liver damage, I've been expecting you.
We had sex this morning and after she goes, " So are we going to do something for Valentines Day?"
Can you explain my first weekend back, because there a lot of blacked out gaps and 32 friend requests i would like to know about
Just used your umbrella as a puke sheild. Thanks man.
Slipping me an edible before my ochem final was not your brightest idea. Looks like I'm switching to business.
He bought me dinner. He gave me his jacket when I was cold. And then ate me out in the passenger sear of the car.
Woke up with his dick on the side of my face, it's like he passed out mid-mushroom stamp.
Alright, my brain isn't sure how to properly function on a Wednesday with no hangover and more than 3 hours of sleep.
So I did end up texting him last night... I asked him how he felt about haircuts... not sure where I was going with that one?
I don't even have his number. I have his pants tho
We played a 4 hour game of True American then we fucked on the floor for a couple hours Happy 20th to me
Per my usual Thursday, I blacked out and slept on the stairs.
You set fire to his cat.
In my defense, I did not think it would be in the trash bag.
I’m doing some soul searching to figure out how much of a slut I’m going to be the rest of the summer.
Randomize
