Why can't we have signs that automatically flash on our foreheads that say not interested when gross ugly guys come around, like those glasses that get dark when the sun comes out?
so I just used the H1N1 mask my mom gave me for college to hold in a bong hit longer... god I love orientation week
whats a positive sounding word for "exploit"?
then you gave the doctors and nurses bloody high fives
Long labias. Talking about. Too drunk to explain. Tomorrow.
All I need is the Internet and a place to drink.
juast therw a cheeeeesestirng over the fnce. stuckit to sombodys car winheild... gonna luagh if i find it mlted in the mrning.
I'm just going to say , cocktail races are not for a Wednesday night maybe not even a Friday type of deal
Let's drink?
Just because it's bacon vodka doesn't mean it's for breakfast.
The multiple male orgasm is a real thing. I've seen it. I've caused it. I called him a unicorn.
I'm on the porch day drinking and the neighbor is in his yard screaming about his amazing sandwiches, maybe we should move.
Her mom came down to the basement and took shots with us. She's now passed out in a wheel barrow. This party got weird
I'm gonna fight the coyote
the gnome is staring at me and the pineapple is wearing shorts. I don't want to do this anymore.
The room got awkwardly silent right as i yelled "leave him alone! I know plenty of straight guys who like to suck dick!"
Randomize
