it was great that she threw up because that made me the only one trying to hook up with her
The working title of my paper? "Tailgating: A Big Clusterfuck of Kids Who Dont Actually Give a Shit about Football"
she acted like she'd never seen someone do speed off of a desk with a rolled up receipt. and she calls herself a grad student.
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK FUCKABLE IN AN ALL NEON SPANDEX JUMPSUIT?
The doctor told me if I woke up with a broken foot and don't know how it happened, I might want to look into getting treatment.
I'm getting flash backs of last night. They're coming in song form.
I'M NOT READY TO BE AB ADULT YET!!!
He cried & told me I reminded him off his mother. I don't want to talk about it. I want to drink about it.
Are we going to go home and do it or do I have time to eat my nachos bell grande first?
I opened my bookbag to put my laptop in and I found two granola bars and a pregnancy test. I am clearly prepared for life
I'm drunk but I just ate 2 heads of broccoli so does that mean it evens out?
Yes absolutlely
Kinda. I got kicked outta the bar, and then incited a riot until the cops came and I bailed
We had everything under control until this one jackass fucked up. Thanks, Peter.
Should I bring my 4 pairs of bunny ears? Or is that too weird?
4 pairs might be a bit much
how goes living off caffiene and alcohol?
i may have recently shit my pants. on two separate occasions.
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