Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
i asked a few people if they wanted to make pancakes with me but no one would. thats why i'm drunk by myself right now
All the walks of shame were condensed into the hour before parents started showing up. Move out day is so bittersweet
I had to hold off a girl who was trying to check your pulse while you were passed out. She kept screaming that she was a nursing major and needed to make sure you were alive.
I just got kidnapped by the rugby team for a scavenger hunt. I'm "the girl you had sex with last night"
He passed out naked in my bathroom, then took a shower, then passed out again and then took another shower. Last time I let my brother visit.
The only explanation I can think of is that he still likes me. Which gives me an enormous amount of power over him and makes me laugh with malicious intent.
Getting drunk and falling down, isnt the best way to describe your hobbies, to your new co-workers.
He tried to tip me with his police badge...
and you didn't accept WHY?!
Well I either feel like the fat girl or very accomplished because his bed is now broken in three places
You know it's been a rough week when you funnel beers by yourself.
My mother is currently smoking weed with a dying bee so his last moments aren't miserable. And she wonders why I rescued a grasshopper missing a leg.
Oh man I knew I took that Molly too soon, talkin to some Scottish people lol but don’t like rollin in pizza restaurants.
I was sleeping and woke up in the bathroom already puking like i slept walk. Perrrrrrfect.
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