So I had sex in the woods... it was just as dirty as you'd expect it would be.. and not in a good way.
so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
i wore my purity necklace wen we fucked. but its ok cuz simplified was blasting in the background
hahahaha. im glad listening to simplified justifies breaking ur promise to god
I think I sharted a yagerbomb.
yours is so small it looks like an acorn!!
I just got an email from a bridal website with the subject "Countdown to your Wedding Day"... is 11AM too early to drink the rest of the wine we have?
it's kind of nice to have a picture of me making out with someone and actually know who it is for once
The intern claims someone glued plastic eyeballs to his penis last night. He going to show everyone in the conference room at 3pm. There is a $5 cover charge.
OH BABY IM HERE AND IN A BLANKET FORT
COME TO THE BLANKET FORT
Can't even walk I haven't tried talking but I probably can't do that either
does doing it on an automatic sink count as shower sex?
Im fairly sure two chicks roofied me last night. Suckers. I love free drugs.
At this point, I'd date an ax murderer. So long as he doesn't cry all the time, have ED, or leave me with his unspayed cat. My list of requirements is becoming increasingly specific.
I'm sorry that you wanted to get laid and I all I did was play with your new cat instead.
I was doing good, then they gave me free shots
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