never play flip cup with pint glasses
Wow anytime a scalper has i need tix written on the back of a franzia box thats a trusted seller
Mark is going to get hypothermia. he is shirtless eating snow bc he "doesnt want to be dehydrated" tomorrow. youre in charge.
And he was super vague about his life, it was frustrating. I totally boned a homeless guy, didn't I?
Every time you blow me I should make a paper crane and we'll make them into a chain and hang them from the ceiling. And then whenever we have people over and they ask what the cranes are for I'll say "reminders" and wink at you.
Currently behind the bar at some asian place, pouring drinks for everyone with a snake around my neck
You'd think somebody who rolls blunts like jesus himself could roll a god damn burrito
There is a pile of hair outside the apartment next door. At least now I know what all that shouting was about last night.
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
I'm curious as to what my outfit choices drunk me made for this weekend.
There's a stripper getting there at 10 though so hopefully I'm out before the stripper gets there. I don't have time to deal with a stripper.
When he mumbled "I can't feel my legs," proceeded to stand, fall over, and just lay there I knew I'd given great head...
You can't just drop that I might be walking into a foursome and leave it at that
If I call him daddy should I get him a father's day card? Serious question
I just want to nap all the time and eat Chinese food.
Randomize
