Hey I don't know if you will get this but all I know is you are so beautiful to .ee and? I dare anyone to stop me me from caring for you ante so beautiful so I kid you not gorgeous iyoiu are so beautiful to me i dare som.eone too stioo you
I have so many mobile devices now, I only use my laptop for porn.
I slept face down in the dirt because I wanted to go camping?
gave you a haircut while you slept. Please don't kill me.
we put a pacifier in your mouth because you kept drunkenly singing country music.
Ryan learned the all important lesson tonight; Red Bull gives you wings, Jaeger gives you gravity.
We're at the urgent care down the street from you if you care to stop by
I'm really good at handling things like foreskin and speech impediments.
She told me about it right after. She said she was scared I would be disappointed. And I was, but I pretended not to be. Which pretty much sums up our relationship.
You know its going to be a good day when you have to brush your teeth out of a cup in your room using the vodka and water mixture in your fridge because you're locked out of your restroom
Why did I wake up to grapes taped my ears ?
Sorry dude, we didn't want you to hear us. Seemed like a good idea at the time.
She has the perfect pussy. Looks like a paper cut with a puff of cotton candy on top.
I bought us both waterproof cases so we can sext through FaceTime in the shower.
Next. Level. Shit.
someone snapchatted me a porn of two guys dressed up as pterodactyls double teaming a girl
I got arrested FOR running from the cops. In college Dad got arrested and THEN ran from the cops. So it could be worse.
he came with me to get plan b but they didn't have any. when I started crying he said "come on it's not that bad.. ill go get sandwiches from the vending machine and we'll have our first meal together as a family"
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