We were hooking up, both of us naked. She starts putting her clothes back on and says, "I have to go to the bathroom." I reply, "No you don't, you're leaving." Without hesitation she looks at me and says, "Yeah."
Dude you picked up her Chihuahua and threatened to kill it yelling "it's not cinco de mayo, bitches"
hot twin vs twin who's good in bed. why do my life choices same way unfair
Being a slut is okay if you're being a polite slut, right?
No matter what you may say to me. You will still be the guy that managed to get his own cum in his hair.
There is ecstasy everywhere. Get over here right no5w. The 5 is silent.
That's okay, during storytime I would have to sit on my hands so I wouldn't touch everyone. Explains a lot...
Two words. Shotgunning Cognac.
This has already gotten way out of hand
I could study for finals and ace all my tests but wheres the fun in that? id rather black out and hope for the best
Katie told the cabby "when the boat docks I'm getting off with you"
I'm giving great sideboob & it's being wasted on my parents.
I saw that you sent me a photo and the first thing out of my mouth was "I swear if it's another photo of a dick poking out of a bubble bath"
And one groomsman rode a suitcase cart like a skateboard until he crashed and took out a piece of sheet rock. Later he pulled out his nuts.
Why in the hell is there a guy dressed up as a horse passed out in our kitchen.
happy birthday!
THERE ARE LEGITLY 4 SEPARATE BITE MARKS ON MY DICK. WHAT. THE. FUCK.
Legitimately*
Go fuck yourself
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