trsut me youll find me, im the only kanye west here and every1 is chanting dbag at me
he was fingering the outside of my pants..i knew that was my cue to leave
I am like king midas for the gay community. everything I touch turns into a lesbian.
I wish orgasms lasted as long as the pain from rug burn
She had her insurance card taped to her arm because it was the only thing she "couldn't take off and lose"
Being at this stripclub only reinforces how single I am. And I was *just* becoming okay with that.
Drunk texting with my high school teacher. This hurricane is bringing out the best in everyone!
Lets play hurricane shelter. And the shelter is my bed, and we forgot our clothes.
So, settle a debate for my housemates. Have you measured your dick. And how long. Results Will not be disclosed
hes like bread. how could bread be dangeous
His roommates came in the room and were throwing snowballs at us while we were hooking up.
I deflowered you on valentines day. I AM THE BEST AT ROMANCE. LOVE ME.
I mean my dick does have feeling again, which is a step in the right direction
And then I realized my chick friends consist only of sober you, drunk you and hungover you
whole 5th of capt = waking up in the shower after 2 hours and the whole house asking why i'm STILL in a towel. and me having nothing to say
Randomize
