One of my boys faked an orgasm while fucking a girl tonite, w/ out wearing a condom mind you.
She caught him, and immediately put her clothes on and left.
He drunk dialed T-Mobile at 3am and talked to them for 45 minutes and got his phone bill lowered from $80 to $60... Best drunk dial ever.
I am the drunkest girl in the tree.
Had sex five times today because there was nothing else to do. I had no idea snow days could get even better than when we were kids
I have to date her. We need a place to stay when we go tailgating.
I think I died last night.
Yeah, you got carried home
Just remembered I railed lines while holding a puppy
Is 1:30 too early for the bar?
Do you want my opinion or society's?
I want your company
do you think me going to the gyno dressed as a cat is inappropriate?
He literally said from now on he's always banging chicks with asthma becuas it's such an ego booster
that sounds horrible...
what could possibly go wrong attempting to re-enact the dinosaur capture scene from Jurrasic Park... I have the net gun and camcorder you have the dino costume and can run
My thoughts mid terrible hookup: do people normally read a magazine right about now?
You were only speaking with either thumbs up, thumbs down, or high fives haha
He put on star wars porn, i thought it was hilarious last night but now i'm wondering why he has star wars porn
Best single mom victory - getting eaten out in my dodge caravan in the hospital parkade at midnight.Three words: screaming multiple orgasms.
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