weddingsv make me drug and hornr
I mean its cheating, but i figure i've made out wiht married chicks before so its like a nicotine patch, quitting by doing less and less each day
I knew I was rolling hard when I realized I had been rubbing the couch for an hour
You know it's been a while when you're having to resort to positive conditioning to get women
So our annual Dick Trip has been tentatively scheduled for the week of July 1 - 5. This years theme is "Fucking for Freedom".
Did we do anything stupid last night besides hook up with our ex girlfriends?
I don't know, I think having hemorrhoids shows character. You have to be trying pretty hard to get them.
i mean i'm drinking free wine with lesbians and listening to sinead oconnor so i'm not sure who won that breakup
You held an empty wine bottle to your head and declared yourself the "wine unicorn." For the rest of the night you galloped everywhere and whenever anyone refused to be a wine unicorn with you, you tried to spear them with the bottle.
Stop sending me pictures of you naked. This violates the friend zone agreement.
Yesterday we were fuck buddies and today I'm meeting his mom. That escalated quickly.
Did you really eat 10 ice cream cones today?
It was tough but I powered through it.
What a way to start the day. Staring at penis for 3 hours
It's pretty much my favorite thing ever
That means I have to put pants on. That is not something I am willing to do right now.
I know it's New Year's Eve but if you're going to have a bunch of chicks playing strip go fish in our apartment I need a heads up.
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