i told him i was gay. he said that gay guys are supposed to be pretty.
her dad's the mattress king, she's genetically engineered to be good in bed
Remember when the only STD we had to worry about were hickies? Those were the days
it's already thursday and i haven't gotten drunk yet...something's not right.
A horse told me not to drive home last night. I think there was a cop on top of it.
Jus posted an album so big that it takes my manhood into question
my night ended in me puking all over jenna's bed, then me trying to wash the sheets in the toilet.
Just went through campus. In the span of 2 min I saw 4 places I've had sex. And thats just down one street. Man do I miss college.
Horrible. I told her my girlfriend is in the hospital and she tried to give me a lapdance.
your love of good penises attached to ugly faces is disgusting and slightly disturbing.
This guy just asked me to stab his arm with my keys to make sure he wasn't dying.
And in that, my finest lazy stoner moment, I used my cleavage to hold my bowl steady while I packed it laying down in bed.
My Sundays are fucking awful. Can't get a blow job.....can't get a win.
Nothing like sunday church bells to aid your walk to the pharmacy to get plan b
Apparently I gave a guy a hand job on the dance floor. ON THE DANCE FLOOR.
Randomize
