I saw his package. It spoke to me.
Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
his status popped up and said 'probably going to jail.' it took everything i had not to press the like button
trsut me youll find me, im the only kanye west here and every1 is chanting dbag at me
We're exchanging pot brownie recipes in my substance abuse class. This is going to be an awesome 7 weeks.
She's allergic to latex.
Lucky bastard.
I walked up to a girl in a bar, and all I was capable of doing was taking my beer and bumping it up to hers. While doing so, all I could say was "Bud Light". She walked away.
In case you're keeping score at home, this is Brad's SECOND Doritos-related trip to the ER.
I say I hate my boss but I find myself jerking off to him more and more with each passing day
Please don't buy a buttplug. It won't fill the empty space in your heart.
i'm so glad to be in bed i'd like to thank the acadermy
I'm literally spending $165 to fly to Arizona to have a sex road trip coming back
I stole $10 from the guy I hooked up with last night.Not sure why but it was definitely more satisfying.
I called him Oliver all night
His name is Brandon
Dude... Those don't even start with the same letter...
I've been in town for almost 36 hrs and I haven't made out with a stranger yet - I consider THAT a record!
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