I wish my grandma would stop using the phrase "he pulled out" when she's talking about her contractor quitting his job.
They just gave us root beer floats. I guess I won't quit my job today.
Girl in front of me has spent the class alternating between playing farmville and the tiffany's website looking at engagement rings. Every once in a while she holds her hand up to the screen.
She doesn't deserve the breathe the same air that we do.
She just bought a cow and we've moved on to looking at wedding dresses.
I looked at her and said "I now pronounce you pumpkin tits"
We lost the cork forthe wine, so we used a tampon as a replacement. I never loves tampons so much
You were sad because he was "taking it out on the plant"
I don't know where Tiffany is but I just saw her shoes in the bar lost and found
dude, apparently i tried to force feed my grandma bananas last night.
Because 9 pm Thursday you drink a loco cause you just wanna get drunk and have a good time with your friends. Then you wake up on Tuesday and you've had 17 locos and you're pregnant, lying on the side of the road, 3 states over. THAT'S why we don't have only locos parties.
Meh, all I have to do tomorrow is proctor an AP test. No loud noises and no physical activity allowed for almost 4 hours. Sounds like the perfect recovery period for a hangover.
I'm handling the NHL draft worse than getting dumped this week
One time she showed me her pierced nipples in our high school locker room and now she has a daughter
Grandma is high again and locked herself in the house
This toilet bowl is my home.
I'll be naked. By 11. Then arrested. Drunk tank adventures
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