Hey it's Austin.
I am not drunk enough for this conversation.
idk why but i just wanna to have sex with the idea of him. i don't even wanna meet him.
its not facebook stalking, its market reasearch
my financial goal is to have my cable back before football season starts
Well, he sent me "techno kitty adventure" about 10 minutes ago. So, he could be anywhere.
I want him to come over and snuggle with me but put a bag over his head. Is that rude?
It's not rude if you use a pillowcase that's softer.
All I need right now is some mouthwash, dignity, and security camera footage...
I'm kinda amazed by how many times I've texted the word penis today.
That boy needs some memories to take back home with him
We woke up in the room with a hamburger patty on the bed side table, one bun across the room, and the other bun under my pillow. Still don't know who ordered room service.
Yep, that just happened. My mom just gave me a big bag of drugs for my birthday. She even put them in a fancy bag with tissue paper.
I just tried to brush my hair with a can opener. Who gave you that brownie
Drunk version of me is like a sleeping demon inside of me that awakes to the sound of vodka
i just want to cuddle, make out and maybe have a boob grabbed but no. someone has to have mono.
the sex is SO much better when he thinks im going insane
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