The vibrating part of my dildo broke, now I have to rely on gyration.
Puking blue powerade in mcdonalds parking lot to the applause of the guy taking out the trash with man in the mirror blasting in the background. Good morning stl
I just overhead some girl saying that she's trying out for the real world so she has a backup if she doesn't get into teach for america...
I told her I was team Edward. I haven't gotten laid that easy since I told your sister that I had cancer
whos cum tastes better, a guy who drinks apple juice or cranberry juice?
What a good family we'd make, him and I and our kids and his good dick.
We really need to check into harvesting part of our liver now
Look, the fact that I didn't kick him out and rip your clothes off speaks very highly of me.
She told me she's dating him because his apartment is a block from Taco Bell. I don't know how she's not fat.
He convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. He slurred every word. I think I found my prince charming.
It probably would have happened but I just can't picture myself losing my virginity while laying on top of his Quiksilver duvet set.
We could put on there: "Drink jager bombs and do stupid shit faster, with more energy!"
I don't know what you're doing this morning, but obtaining Plan B is my number-one priority.
His truck was very sexy. Unfortunately, shortly thereafter, I discovered that the whole overcompensating thing is very true...
How proud should I be that I googled "dildo with wheels" and actually got the result I wanted?
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