Annihilated within 20 minutes of arriving on Saturday, proceeded to hook up with him half a dozen times/almost have sex in the shed. Later on I text his boyfriend letting him know he's okay and that he's asleep next to me. If I could parlay this skill into a vital component of national security I'd be the Jack Bauer of homewrecking. Diner later?
we were pretty classy up until the second keg
She wants out first dance to be to 98 degrees i do cherish you...remember how i said we didn't need open bar....
I think you're asking the wrong person. You don't understand. Like I would fuck the act of fucking itself if I could.
you know something has gone wrong in your life when you've gotten a court order to stay away from ALL mc donalds.
she's my drunk super hero.
Nm. Exausted and my teeth just fell out again
I feel that my cleavage set an unattainably high bar for 2013.
Ps I think male models just broke down outside or maybe gay German sex travelers
I've entered the world of uncircumcised penises. It's disgusting.
Once you've had an oral std scare, you're an expert.
My sexual preferences tend to require a degree in psychology to understand
How do I figure out the name of this sleeping naked guy in my bed?
Thank you, BTW, for defiling my bed. Glad it was done well.
You yelled "Shame!" like you were that bitch from Game of Thrones and then hit my balls full force with your sports bra
I walked in on a circlejerk after punching that guy out. Instant karma.
Randomize
