You should never have let annie watch you have sex with other women
Rule #1. Nothing comes between you and fantasy sports. Not even a hot chick willing to give you a blow job
just put cider in my bong. gotta love fall
Most guys don't get turned on by "skinny, gangly legged girl with glasses laying in bed touching herself." You better start working on your diction if you're gonna keep up the sexting.
the saddest part is, this is not even the first time i've woken up in a shopping cart with a concussion.
We need to step up our tailgating...they're here drinking out of a prosthetic leg
She asked for her virginity back. I don't know what to say
I picked up the bartender so he could open the bar early and ended up with him giving me a ride home when he closed. I like snowdays and everything, but they get really expensive. Also, I think I threw up on his front door. Not checking.
He's short and fat and honestly I think he's what my self esteem was made for
You seriously knocked all the beer off the table, broke the beer pong table, broke the bar and kept yelling "you have to warn me first!" all because I wouldn't let you have another four loco
The first guy I ever sexted is having a baby.. Is this what adulthood feels like?
9 am booty call on your ex's birthday. Fuck yea
She was crying and pulled the collar of her shirt up to blot the tears. And then she just kept her head there. And stopped crying. "My boobs are just too amazing for me to cry." her words not mine please help she's still in that position
I woke up this morning to find my closet lacking 98% of my clothes and a text from my male roommate saying your dresses squeeze my genitals
Puked up breakfast after doing my first minze shot in a while, but that shot was to Trump losing the election, so it's all good.
Randomize
