I wanna bring you to show and tell
When I say rough sex, and show you scars from past encounters, pulling my hair a little IS NOT GOING TO CUT IT. And he just doesn't understand.
That's why you NEVER put anything a stripper gave you in your mouth
I think my penis ruined a perfectly good friendship.
My right arm is handcuffed to my leg... Please help.
we were totes just talking about. huu in the bathbub. 5 girlszzz
...i'd have to set their sheets on fire.
Just purchased ketchup, body wash, and lube. Hope you're ready for the post-memorial-day-cookout-shower-anal.
I hate him. I fucked every one of his friends AND his fat brother and he still won't break up with me.
I convinced every single one of my cousins to bring me a glass of wine. I was the alcoholic queen and they were my subjects.
Please don't make me ever have to hear the words "the Queen's gynecologist" ever again.
Our DD will meet us there. The strippers are sending a limo to pick him up. He promised them New Years Eve massages. Said he would still drive us home.
I was walking out the front door and heard his roomate say "It looks like you need a chiropractor." I think my work here is done.
No. Way more drunk than the night I put a snowball in my purse "for later" and woke up to find everything soaking the next day.
But less drunk than the day that Pete took four of your birth control pills thinking they were Advil, right?
Congrats you've received dick pics from an Olympic silver medalist
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