He was trying to put his hand up my shirt but I remembered the coke was stashed in my bra so I moved his hand to my pants
I'm not a creep or anything, just a lost soul looking for a good lay
I found out that my first kiss was an Italian. Even in kindergarden i knew size mattered.
I've had more sex in the two weeks since we broke up than I ever had in any two weeks we were together.
On another note, why did I wake up wrapped in bubble wrap. I can only assume it was for my own safety
To tired for the bar. Came home and drank wine out of the bottle. Kind of don't want to know what that says about my life.
I just remember going to take a piss and looking down on the floor and thinking "that looks comfortable" and then I was out.
In his defense he just bought a bong like a week ago so he's still in that honeymoon phase.
It felt like Party Santa dropped by and gave us two more 18-packs.
Do they make liter beers?
They make 40s
Do they make 2 liter beers
They make 2 40s
I just hope I don't wheeze during sex
When i said i was brazilian i swear to god he started to tear up
I'm actually kinda upset that we didn't consider velcro-ing detachable capes to our clothes before this moment.
We had sex six times. In a span of 8 hours. Confirmation I don't need to go to the gym.
Would you paint my ceiling for oral sex?
Randomize
