The next morning she woke up and asked who I was and where she was.
she went to pee and i could hear her singing "Drip Drip Drop LIttle April Showers" from Bambi through the door.
I'm scared at the amount of beastiality in this conversation.
When you wake up, just ignore the mess in the bathroom. I'll take her home when I'm off work.
I'm pretty sure I have enough material at this point to start a blog called Guys I've Banged in Pictures together. Why does this keep happening to me!
Well the term Party is used loosely in this situation. Since it will just be mom wine drunk and us eating chips with multiple dips.
I fell into a manhole last night, so there's that
I can assure you I didn't go home with a girl, because I woke up on someone's porch
I got high and had sex with reindeer antlers on. It was magical and animalistic. Tia the season.
wtf I can't believe that bar tender told on me to my mom
Fire trucks are here again. It wasn't me this time.
You can't break up with me. I brought you to see Beyoncé.
I met a guy last night who bought me a book on Amazon at the bar and then we had sex. Boners for books is a thing. Boom.
He just kept repeating "It was like meep meep meep on my balls."
Is it weird that I shop for lingerie by thinking if it will look good on both me and your floor?
No. Not at all.
Randomize
