If i spent $300 & took that thing home i would hate myself today.
He kept waking up periodically throughtout the night to bit my ear and pass back out.
Tried to bribe the bartender with wedding cake. Felt bad for not giving her a tip.
The entire time I'm blowing him she's in the back seat lecturing me on the reasons why you're not suppose to do that while they're driving...
making an indian outfit so we can be pochohantas and john smith and fuck in the canoe on the night float
Well, it's a fine line between people-watching and boob-staring. It's a gray area. But we're in Paris. Let's leave it at that.
I'm all dressed in my outfit from last night, and I'm not even the sluttiest person in Walmart right now. God bless Miami.
Then while I was crying on his shoulder, he got a boner. Soo. I kinda just hopped on.
Although can we find me a starter dick? I don't want security showing up again. That was awkward.
And now let us go forth, and be garbage people in public.
Isn't that our default mode?
I AM A GOOD PERSON AND THEREFORE I DESERVE QUALITY DICK!
I just realized it's officially fall..I had sex while watching Halloween
I'm going to talk him into letting me tie him up, and then just leave him that way and go meet you for fro-yo.
I could be writing so much lesbian porn right now but noooooo!
He told us when he was 10 he started shoving bars of soap up his ass for pleasure so i winked at him
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