Do you think they could tell I was high on that conf call?
get your tongue out of his mouth and answer your phone. if your not doing more than making out i'm gonna be so pissed. i'm about to sleep in your car bitch
so how much must it suck for him to know that the penis of his best man has been in his wife's mouth before?
You're breaking my vagina 4 times a day I reserve the right to know your middle name.
he definitely had sex before you were fully potty trained.
Her life is filled with shit luck. Its like mother nature is having her period and just taking it out on her specifically.
I'm just going to text him the word sex repeatedly until he comes over.
Did it work?
Duh, it only took 27 texts and 15 minutes and he was at my front door.
Cheez-its and a bottle of cab...for under $10 you could win this girls heart
having flashbacks of licking salt of your dick for my shot of tequila
I did wake up to a random meat and cheese plate next to my bed, that was a thrill.
If you're wondering about the mess, we had sex in the kitchen. There was noodles involved.
You sluts I'm so proud of you. You're both wearing underwear.
I feel awkward having to tell people “sorry you can’t finger me because I will get a UTI and I don’t have health insurance”
Just made my first drink, took 2 sips feel like god
Long story short wrist restraints, Apple Watch and cumming all don’t mix
Randomize
