It is virtually impossible to listen to single ladies and perform any seated task.
...She then said get into the spirit and started making firecracker noises while having sex
About six hours after the bottle of smirnoff, I was googling "losing your stomach lining" and calling my mom for help. She has experience.
We broke into the space center. If i go to jail I wanted to tell you, you have a fantastic dick. Use it wisely.
Also, your vagina needs a time out and let your brain have a chance to make decisions.
So I walk in and he's teaching someone in London via Skype how to roll a blunt. I have new found respect for him.
Im going to be coked out with hello kitty fire arms. Valentines day can suck my dick
An old man just slapped my ass and handed me five dollars while I was filling chips at subway. I feel violated, but that was the easiest five dollars I've ever made.
We were sitting outside of the building and he literally just walked up with no pants on. This is the best college ever
Using my graduation announcement box as a table to roll a blunt on. I've official stopped giving a shit about senior year
wtf I can't believe that bar tender told on me to my mom
You ruined a cute cat because your lack of horniness
Hi,\n\nYou left your underwear in my Uber. Thanks and bye.
lets face it, we have a liquor cabinet with a designated chocolate shelf
You need a new phone. When you talk it sounds like the teacher from Peanuts while she's trying to give a blowjob.
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