ok so i jsut did the walk of shame with this random guy that i had sex with at the hotel party, and the lady at the front desk said "wow you're just now leavin?"
i'm sure there's a big cosmic reason for things working out the way they did. like, now you have awesome images to masturbate to.
I heard you threw up in your lap?
I heard that too.
i wanna make it FB official so he cant fuck anyone else. but that means i can't fuck anyone else either. CONUNDRUM
Life lesson: Don't give a drunk girl a dutch oven after having taco bell. She puked all over my pillow. Funny as hell though.
My dad just walked in on me screwing the chick from the bar...the look of relief on his face was sort of hurtful.
why did u have a candy cane hung on your dick in the first place?
she has a santa fetish
cute.
all they had in the fridge was rum and filled water balloons
You should never talk to him again. Unless its you knocking on the door and punching his dick.
Well see how he likes it when I randomly start crying and saying my dads name during sex I WILL RUIN ALL HIS FUTURE BONERS
Hot freshmen.....hot freshmen chicks everywhere
You say this every welcome week, bro.
I feel like telling him your vigina was older than him was not a good pick up line.
Yeah haha but we have no idea where his keys are. Last night was awful. Him and Chancey were in a fully embraced bro hug at one point. Both crying.
Thank you for the legal advice. I hope I can pay you in blow jobs.
If I had a dollar for every straight boy that questioned their sexuality because of me, I would live a comfortable middle-class life.
Randomize
