I told him he can't put it there till we're exclusive. That's totally The Relationship Hole.
its like playing clue every morning after we party. she did him in the kitchen with..oh god.
Yep just saw a license plate that read "taint 2" which implies there is a "taint 1". Only in Florida
I prob couldn't even get his attention if I had a dick growing out of my forehead
If you're wondering about the pepper everywhere its for the ants and it was my doings. They hate pepper. You're welcome.
You're cordially invited to the love nest for alcoholic and aquatic adventures. Also known as an all expense paid trip to my pool, alcohol, and vagina.
What do you wear to apply at a strip club?
she tried to deny peeing on the floor last night. she said she wouldn't make it to the bathroom only to pee on the floor
oh but she would
Virginity is like the pottery barn-you break it, you bought it.
Thanks....I've always wanted my vagina compared to an overpriced coffee table
I am a murderer. I ran over so many baby frogs. I wanted to stop and pick some up to take home, but all I have is a wine bottle. I'd hate to explain that to a cop.
She called to say her plane was running late and i had 30minutes to get to the airport for bathroom sex
I like that our conversation ended with "im gonna go get pregnant goodnight"
I don't know if apple cider everclear was such a good idea
He won't leave and I need to take a shit and vomit, quite possibly at the same time.
Let’s not dwell on the negatives. I have a fat ass and suck dick well.
Randomize
