I just spent twenty minutes with brandons dad explaining why head isnt typically considered sex...can we say awkward?
An eyelash just fell out into my container of rice. Searching for it, i took a single piece of rice out at a time coming to the coclusion that i should not be this high while eating rice.
We had literally Just finished having sex when he handed me a plan B and said he lied about wearing a condom.
My entire floor is waiting for the couple to come out of the shower. She's a screamer. We've blockaded them
i walked toward the cop car thinking it was the liquor store lights nd by that time it was too late to escape the trap
The cab driver told me he hopes I look up to him as a father figure. Then he asked if I wanted him to take me to the hospital
By round 4 of the Dead End shots, I thought my jaw was dislocated ... Best invention EVER.
I come back home for break and my room is full of weed either my parents really love me or they are having more fun then I am in college
I no longer see him as a simple set of male genitalia attached to a very sexy body. The title "trophy fuck" seems wrong. Damn.
I think I should start a match.com profile and put "robe lounging" as my only hobby
The "don't have sex with him again" alerts you set on my phone just started going off.
Good. "Seriously, don't do it" should start in about five minutes.
No man we're leaving now. The party will probably be busted soon. O and a bitch started throwing knives around the place, like real actual knives.
Can't beat it when the local bar sends you off with a loaf of bread on the way out the door.
I am all the way hung over and want nothing more in this world than a McMuffin. Happy day after Thanksgiving.
Wow first he impregnates you then he won't send you the sex tape you made together? Where has chivalry gone?
Randomize
