He has such a weird drunk-voice.
dude, he's deaf.
I am full of burrito and curiosity
dude. how can brian from family drink at fucking bars? he's a dog and definitaly doesn't have pockets.
Maybe we should try and tone it down a notch. The neighbors changed the name of their wifi network to "i can hear you having sex".
Ok love is a little strong. But he consented to Nachos, beer and board game date with my cats. Keeper.
drunk lawn darts. Let's test the homeowners policy
Things found in my vomit last night: cell phone, Von Hayes rookie card, a boot, my dignity
i don't even know why we got arrested this time. i think the cops just like our company at this point
It could be worse. I was dumped by a guy in a kilt after he gave my shoes away on St. Patrick's Day.
He started a convo with me by saying that we went to high school together and then recommended I try meth.
Also I'm sorry for asking you to shave my vagina for me last night
Also, fucking on half deflated air mattresses is a great full body work out.
You ran out of his house yelling "I got the goods!" Then you pulled toilet paper rolls out from under your shirt.
i dunno dude, he took his shirt off and is rubbing jello shots on himself. i think he's done
She woke up, peed in the sink and then passed out again, it's only 2 in the afternoon
Randomize
