Tell LD happy birthday and party like it's $19.99
Recession joke.
I cut my penus on the lid.
You wouldn't stop crying and screaming Hilary Duff doesn't deserve Gossip Girl
I just want you to know how happy I am that you are circumcised.
We are going to get clementines. And shoot them out of a ballon launcher. That's after we come up to the ivy with a bullhorn and reck havoc. Where are you.
Walked girl from last night to car as gf was driving up. Got slow clap from neighbors.
MEET ME OUTSIDE YOUR HOUSE IN THREE MINUTES. BE DRUNK. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I am not even close to finishing violently masturbating over that video.
I had to ask. I mean when you get a snap chat of a nipple you have to ask who's it is.
Why are there so many fucking Lambchop puppets hidden around my house?!
You realize that if you get murdered while we're talking, I'm gonna have to explain to your next of kin why the last thing on your phone is a picture of my boobs.
my only goal for the semester is never go to my wednesday class sober
Being responsible doesn't make memories.
My breath smells like dick and biscuits..
She yelled Carpe Diem when she orgasmed. Is it too early to marry her?
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