i don't care who i fucked last night, until im at 43plus im not considering myself slutty
She punched my vomit. In midair. Back into my mouth.
it's official, i know exactly what cross streets we're at by the bumps when i give him road head
I hope that he knows just because i pissed in his bed doesn't mean were together.
my dad just asked me if my booty call guy that comes over at 3am and leaves at 6 would like to stay for sunday brunch next week. you in?
Liver, I have supported you for 18 fucking years. Pull your weight for ONE NIGHT and detoxify this alcohol.
If this first date goes well and I like him, I won't sleep with him. But if it doesn't go well, I'll sleep with him.
He was spooning with the dog when I came home. Now shes afriad to go near him. Should I ask?
I took it upon myself to take one shot of tequila to have an excuse for hitting on my not-single coworker. It worked.
There is what appears to be urine on the woman's bathroom sink. I just have so many questions right now.
I'm pretty sure he's playing the harmonica in my shower right now. I just really need to pee.
only i would get off to receiving death threats online
i just remember that i was on top of him and he wasnt contributing to the event much.. god i hope he wasnt asleap.
the fact that I've been his fuck buddy for a year, and I'm pregnant isn't bothering me. the fact that he didn't tell me about his girlfriend does.
I love you too, but sadly you're not as good at getting me out of bed as cocaine.
Randomize
