I am NOT getting arrested in a batman mask
Then he told me he was 40. I'm not sure if I have enough Daddy issues to go for it
any plan I had today of being a productive member of society, I am officially throwing out the window.
She even gives head with a lisp.
You try staying up all night fucking a guy with a curved dick and see how much you want to go out after that.
He drew a bath for me. It was only cute until he started throwing in celery and calling me soup.
Hey.. Here's a thought for the evening. There's only two more sleeps until I fuck you so hard my back teeth will convulse.. Here's too Tuesday! Woohooooo
you were afraid hed set himself on fire so you dumped a box of baking soda on him
tonights mission is daddy issue patrol - we wear old spice and drink gin martinis and see who reacts.
We are in Florida for 3 days. The people in charge of shit brought: a waffle maker, a cheese grater and a SEWING MACHINE
AND NO VODKA
And we had three hours of crazy sex then his roommate ate pizza off me while I was sleeping.
Named all the presidents in order between puke sessions while semi conscious so that's a thing I can do now
Why the HOLY HELL is my dog on my roof??? Sam?? Why is the dog wearing my pants
Can I get my morals surgically removed?
He said it was the classiest hand job he ever had because my nails were painted red. We need to go to nicer bars from now on.
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