Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
thats the last time I fuck a piece of fruit on camera for him.
so my car got towed last night. I didnt know it cost 118 dollars to have a college experience
Dude feel your hair right now it feels so weird like pasta
i will be the first lesbian to ever fail women's studies.
Despite fighting the urge to vomit throughout the whole thing, I think that interview went really well!
Oh you don't have to buy a shower curtain, I stole the one from her bathroom. It has dolphins on it.
New plan for Halloween: you dress as Waldo, I'll dress as Carmen San Diego. We can just hide in a closet drinking till someone finds us.
How do I tell a friend I drunkenly broke into his house and may have lost his dog
She just locked herself in the bedroom with an unopened bottle of wine and a steak knife. Unfortunately for her fingers, I stopped giving a fuck two hours ago.
You did that scary laugh you always do when you're blacking out except she's never heard it before and though you were choking and screamed at all of us when we didn't call an ambulance
Talk about an dramatic entrance, girl rolled up on a stolen bike and was wearing heels and a dress, through it on the ground and said "you guys want a bike?" Of course i jumped on that shit, any sane person would!
I still don't know his name but his ass is spectacular. Like he should never wear pants.
You told us that you were going to become a 'new man' and threw your tv set out of a window.
Quick question. If you break the bathroom sink off the wall from fucking on it, can you claim it on your homeowner's insurance as a 'natural disaster'?
Randomize
