Her vagina smelled like hockey gear.
yeah that pretty much nipped itself in the bud when I realized i could see her whiteheads glowing in the blacklight
dude thats like the second time shes peed on the couch at a party. we cant invite her anymore
That sucks. I just talked to a telemarketer for 15 minutes about CSI: Miami and weed.
He snuck out of bed at 9 am and came back with pizza and a bottle of wine. I think I'm in love!
I HAVE MY OWN TITS FOR THAT AND I CAN GUARANTEE THAT THEYRE MORE GLORIOUS
I'm amazed your boyfriend is still with you, how do you manage to pee on him while he is holding you in his lap?
I just googled, "how to do boob makeup" thats the kind of night I wanna have.
Do I have to formally apologize to Brett for flashing him?
Remember when you fed me goldfish while I was -inside- of someone?
Never drinking again. Maybe, if our boss gave us more 3-day weekends we would know how to handle ourselves. That was a shit show.
You did a body shot out of her belly button with a bendy straw.
I want to but I can't have a boner while doing a install and working with a customer
He understood my need for pizza was more important than my need for sex. He's the one.
Is it weird that I was turned on when he told me he had a vasectomy?
I knew you two would hit it off
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