At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
I just had my first uncircumcised penis. I kept staring at it like the foreskin was going to fall off on its own.
He gave me a 420 gift that consisted of a dime bag, a philly cheesestake, and a Pepsi that was still cold. If he ever wants a free bj, I got him.
Dudeeeee, i ordered strippers for my party.
I ordered a moonbounce.
Fuck, you win.
4 months of living in europe has taught me the art of making a drunken stumble look like a dance move
dude wearing that thong all day was not worth the 7 bucks
Mega depressed bro. Had the greatest sex with the hottest girl I've ever seen and in the AM she gave me that look I've given dozens of times. I'm her drunken fat chick fuck
he had me stop mid-blow job to make me use my phone to id a song on the radio..
i wasnt really sure how to responde to that.
You're not on my level until you shop at Petsmart for sex accessories.
Okay I know I said I was going to quit drinking for a while but apparently pumpkin pie flavored vodka is a thing and I will not rest until I have some.
How did I pull off convincing everyone that my name is Dad? Maybe they were just distracted by my boobs.
Threesomes are not as fun as you'd think. I left with a black eye and I'm not sure who's to blame.
So do I get points for screwing my recently single ex boyfriend and then telling him to go fight for his ex back?
I just made the same noise looking at my salami sandwich as I do hooking up with you.
Two words: nipple clamps
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