Whatever, you were 10 deep and there was a hot tub. No judgment.
Dude they even gave me free lube for being tested! Best. Hiv test. EVER.
I'm in his phone as "nashville blowjob" he also has "cleveland blowjob" "vegas blowjob" etc. i'm okay with this.
I feel like we had some profound moment last night, but I can't really recall much past your ass turning up the volume on the radio.
A whole bunch of large men eating Doritos just knocked on my door and asked if they could take out my trash?
Attention ladies coming to the party tonight! Tonight will be another chance to win the 5 bucks for getting my cousin hard. Bring your a-game, no one has been able to overcome the whiskey dick yet. Good luck.
My neighbor Chris is here. I am warning you, he is wearing a kilt I just saw his balls. Be incredibly careful that you don't see what I did.
I just think his face would be more attractiveif it was framed by my thighs
You now have the mental image of me flying off into the sunset with no pants
so I was eating out this girl who was wearing my pirate hat In an alley behind the bar last night and some girl walks up and takes a picture. apparently we had a crowd of about 10 and it turned her on so she just didn't tell me
Yes I peed all over myself and lost both my credit cards, who wants to know?
dude wtf why are there forks in my wall
does "I AM MAGNETOOOO" ring any bells, because that was you for an entire hour last night
i just went to hell in the tanning bed. i think god is giving me a preview of what is in store if i keep getting drunk everyday.
Sorry you uh had to see that last night. That's the problem with open fields, no privacy...
Turns out the grown up version of seeing your teacher shopping is seeing your therapist is on tinder
Randomize
