He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
woke up with peach flovored chap stick on my taint ! dont ask why i know it was peach
so i was sitting on this guys lap, and we were flirting and everything right..well his phone kept ringing, turns out it was his pregnant wife...she had gone into labor..
how do u look a man in the eye when u own both his daughters V-Cards?
Nope, I'm sticking to passive aggressive punishments. Like mismatching his socks and cumming on his leather couch. OCD is so wonderful.
when he pulled his cock out I told him he'd brought a knife to a sword fight
I hate being the only medical professional in the group. I always end up patching you guys or being the DD when I'm on call. I have problems I need to drown in booze too...
It was dumb but not something to force me into sobriety
Don't tell him that you hope he dies in a boring missionary position with his wife. That doesn't go over well.
I'm going to become fluent in fucking Belgian boys
I slept with my wedding DJ..... I think this means my life has come full circle
Gez, you make a couple noises and all of the sudden your the loud girl.
ill let you put your finger in a lot of things. but a ring is not one of them.
You got drunk, made toast, and declared yourself a domestic goddess.
The hump and dump is a beautiful thing
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