Sitting in the library lobby in the middle of exam week. Drunk. Dressed as santas slutty helper. Waiting for the student shuttle service. People are clapping for me as they walk by. Tell me how this isnt college
just saw a man remove a wedgie from his lady's ass. who says chivalry is dead.
we live in such a classy society.
Dear drunk me, don't shave my balls til you're sober. My junk looks like a pomeranian with mange.
Some are given great drunkenness. Others have great drunkenness thrust upon them, in the form of ice storms.
Finally considering to keep my landing strip before I have sex.. I feel like It makes me look mature.
I just wanted to give you a heads up. There's a crab in the kitchen. He doesn't have a name yet. We are just calling him crab for now. Oh! and we have memosas!
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
My hickies are dark enough that I can feel drivers judging me from across an intersection
Who knew drunk me could climb a 17 story building for apple juice and sex
Just blowing bubbles with my nipple rings in my shower.
You always make things weird.
Can we fangirl? Can we have fangirl Tuesdays?
Sure lol what's that?
Oh, dear, sweet Laura. Please start singing A Whole New World. I have Aladdin's part, you're Jasmine.
Why?
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You yelled This cop is arresting me for possession! Possession of MARIJUANA!!", everyone cheered, and you let him handcuff you and take you away.
1. Why did we have the team Chirstmas party in November 2. Why didn't anyone tell me the coaches were invited 3. Why did coach get the giant vibrator I brought
video games take priority over anything else you can offer me.
I smell like cowboy sweat. I got two lap dances. This is the best day of my life!
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