the whole city is out of plan b pills. this is the meanest game of musical chairs ever.
I was so high last night. I wrote a poem about my salt shaker
he doesn't care that i have a boyfriend so why should i?
logic in its finest
should we take a power nap before our cocaine gets here?
every single one of us blacked out. we woke up the next morning and it was like the night never happened. IT'S STILL A MYSTERY
Are you also wondering how we get home after the party bus?
Home?
Doing lines of coke with a $100 dollar bill off a 6in x 9in photo of your childhood self really tells you where you where you've gotten in life.
So I was about the only one NOT pregaming or stoned at my aunt's funeral... Maybe thats why I'm the black sheep.
Can't. I took a Viagra to make sure I wouldnt leave the room so I might actually study.
There are more dirty dishes in my bed then in the kitchen. Have I lost at life?
jut tell him gently that you'd rather spend more time with his dick than his face
How many fucks given?
0.12846
I just broke a sweat masturbating on a Friday night. I may need a boyfriend.
Remind me to tell you about this weekend with them. It was the least fun I have ever had drinking. And I have thrown up pork and beer through my nose on the side of the freeway.
when your dumb AF ex “accidentally” venmos you $50 and texts you asking for it back..... —sorry I accidentally deleted your number and cashed out
Randomize