Thanks to blow jobs, my margarita's at the bar are only 3dollars.
no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
we're out of white wine, toilet paper and windex... too hard to explain via text
I told him next time he kisses her to remember where that mouth has been...
How'd that go?
Hes on his way with a baseball bat...
is it possible i asked you to give me a preliminary pap smear?
It might have taken me 30 minutes but I finally finished the toast I made. That hungover.
my spring break was before theirs and i literally fed him vodka all week, only stopping for class and bowls. like handles. i cant even think anymore, that chastity belt was hard to get off,
I really dont wanna go to a traffic light party. I have nothing red to pretend I'm taken with. Without something red my "my girlfriend is away in the mines" story wont work.
Can I come by? I want you to meet my squirrel
Dick. I'll go round and break his windows. I've been watching Sons of Anarchy on Netflix.
Kelly and I just had sex, and you didn't call or text to interrupt, are you alive? We are both concerned.
I'm gonna give the church their tithe, and the rest is a down payment on boobs.
Fuck you. You were a total asshole last night.
We will get to that, but can anybody tell me whose fucking socks I am wearing?!
he's single and there are thong briefs.
I am a unicorn in a field of flowers, you asshole.
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