Last night was epic. Hooked up with Emma Watson, found twenty bucks, and then passed out on my floor.
No you didn't. You drank unbelievable amounts of 151, passed out in someone else's bathroom, and we carried you back to your floor. Nice dreams though.
suddenly, hermaphrodite night sounds like a really bad idea
Could you please tell them to stop whispering "thundercunt" every time I walk in the room?
conquered wheelchair sex. it's rather convenient. you'd think it was made for it, with all those handles and adjustable features.
Can I have my ID back now or are you using it to crossdress again?
Check Facebook. Random dude tagged us in photos from last night dancing at Denny's while eating a sampler platter. 1. How does he have our names, and 2. You said we ate at Tbell.
Thursday nights need to stop happening to me.
This is all my moms fault. She shouldn't have encouraged my weird fascinations as a child
we were playing waterfall, then strip waterfall, then we were just listening to music, drinking, and slowly becoming more naked
There are many penises to be discovered and claimed tonight
We're like Lewis and Clark
Dude. I'm no longer allowed to use my sword when drinking. I just spent 20 min cleaning up popcorn. I stabbed Moe in the leg and chopped his door knob off
DELETE THAT VIDEO OF ME MAKING OUT WITH THAT RUG NOW
She said she didn't feel right fucking on her parents dining room table I grabbed the only thing around bubblewrap she blew me for creativity
I just fell and sprained my ankle in the shower. No, I wasn't having sex. I was doing the time warp. Again.
He offered me free drinks all night if I could beat him in a drinking race. I blacked out after that but just found his credit card in my bra so there's that.
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