I pretty much can't stop smiling when I talk to you. Even when you talk about disease and infectious diarrhea.
his facebook status quotes britney spears so there is always that
Thats the last time I go out drinking with my Irish friends. Two shots of flaming sambucca = bar on fire. I was only trying to high five the barman.
did we hook up?
no, because you kept repeating "itty bitty titties" when i took off my shirt
I feel a bullet train of disappointment headed in your direction.
Two words that describe last night: naked and backflips.
you guys just sat there and simultaneously smoked bowls staring at each other... it was like a bowl off or something.
She had a tattoo on her pelvis that said "it's cock-o-clock" an had clocks and hot dogs exploding away from it. I'd like to tell you it was deal breaker buuuuuuut.......
You might be at the point of severe desperation when you gotta hold the two pieces of your broken vibrator together just to get off.
The last thing I remember from that party was me shouting "hold my feet I'm going in strapped like Rambo"
Last thing I remember was a hand in the pants. Then I woke up next to a full beer and a McDouble, which I promptly had for breakfast.
you went to ralph's and bought all of their pears and left them outside my house
I told my therapist about the other night and he actually whistled and said "wow that is not good."
At least his std test came back clean, gotta look at the positives here
Video on mandys page of you drinking upside down was finally put up...too bad all the comments were about me and him fighting in the background while he screamed "BLOW BIG BETSY!'
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