if you come down to my room ill tell you a secret
PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
am i at home because theres a dig starrrrring at me and i dont know wit plus i haer sirens. run fast.
I'm the only one here who isn't hooking up, coming out of the closet, or crying because of one of those 2 things.
She's sitting on the couch buck naked, eating a cupcake for dinner. I'm breaking new ground as a parent here.
I took my pants off in the cab and tried to bite his ear. Not going oout for awhile
I was going through my paperwork and I found the lifetime warranty card for my 14" dildo. I saved it. You know, just in case.
Be careful there's warming lubricant on the floor. I will clean and explain later.
somehow, even strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA can't understand why he'd choose her over me
maybe it's because you talk to strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA
Im in the bathtub drunk. Less than an hour before the interview. This will be the best or worst career move ever., support?
Its important to me that you know there is a tambourine down my pants.
I am pretty sure we beat baby seals over the head in a past life. That is why we are being punished.
she wanted me to tie her up with my playstation charger cord. i kept on hoping she wasn't a squirter. those cords r expensive. could have def been a Sony commercial tho
No seriously, I don't care if you just sucked God's dick. I have had a better Fat Tuesday than you
I don't think it's ever a good night if I'm this hung over and I didn't even get an orgasm out of the deal...
Randomize
