So I had sex in the woods... it was just as dirty as you'd expect it would be.. and not in a good way.
we'll penetrate his innocence with our dicks
saw a man tazing a raccoon in the middle of the street last night... normal
But she tried her best to break my penis, so she has a few free passes with me
we are sitting in a kindergarden classroom alone chugging beer. look at our lives. look at our choices.
Lets just fuck. We'll decide if it was makeup or breakup sex after.
3 things. 1) we need alcohol 2) we need alcohol 3) we need tortilla chips. Let's make a plan. Bro shakes and salsa.
I hope after we constantly bang for 2 days straight we can agree to be friends again
stef broke her leg trying to vault over the coffee table. these olympics drinking games are going to fucking kill us
How early is too early to study with margaritas?
If it goes near your penis, it should not go near the Hawks.
Stay home. Ain't nothing out in these mean streets but plan b and regret
DO NOT FUCK YOUR ENGAGED GAY NEIGHBOR!
random boy in my bed. last night wasnt a dream. fuck.
My brain is a dvd screensaver and I'm allowed to have a good thought when it hits the corner
Randomize
