all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
i am not above fucking your little sister on your bed
Is it really that bad? I heard it was like pooping. I like pooping.
have you ever been in a public bathroom and someone walked in, and you played "Fat or Crying" based on her breathing?
If I don't wake up hungover in a ditch Monday morning I will consider my halloween a failure
Accidentally gagged on my toothbrush and puked up a Walgreen's cheeseburger. 1) I am not going to be on top of my game tonight. 2) Since when do I have a gag reflex? 3) Walgreen's cheeseburgers are awesome.
It's stupid hot. I just want to be laying in a bathtub full of margaritas
I'm at work. It's margarita night. Someone literally just shouted "MURICUH!"
God bless us, everyone.
Are you really surprised she can't remember? That's like 50 people. I couldn't rattle off all 50 state capitols off the top of my head, you're bound to forget a few here and there
they saw the dick pic he sent and started calling him 'subway'
maybe one of us should just pity fuck him and get it over with.
You didn't throw up on me, you threw up on yourself and then tried to give me a hug
I just masturbated at work... Don't know why but I thought you should know
Remember when you brought a guy home from the bar... to our parents house.... on thanksgiving eve?
So you just held his hand and he fucking came...?
Randomize
