broke, out of weed, out of gas, out of food, and my gf just left me.
you're writing country songs now?
So I cleaned out my gym bag. Found half a bottle of malibu.
You know, I could pretend I'm shocked but what's the use?
In fact, not a good idea to go into any house alone after a man invites you in from his balcony.
His body is just chiseled out of sex. I would let that man do anything to my body. Including fuck me while my parents watch
This is NOT the time to take our hits and go to Disney. Let me repeat that. NOT THE TIME FOR DISNEY ON ACID
His grandpa picked him up. Brought him to the house. And made him clean the puke off the driveway with a broom and a bucket of water.
They are going to name an STD after you.
I'm like a freaking volcano of life and sexual frustrations
I've sent two unsolicited tit pictures in less than 24 hours. I'm the female version of a fuckboy.
Valentine's Day is now to be known as Tacos and Orgasms Day.
Is it something I'm going to want to hug you for or slap you for?
Man I gotta stop stashing shit when I'm high. I just spent 2 hours searching for my bag of pot and eventually found it in fucking a bandaid box.
You use your abs way more than I realized. Btw multiple orgasms is the best thing I've ever discovered.
No I’m scared man. She sharted. In my car. Wearing a dress. And I still like her.
Wow
You turned down sex for fried cheese??
My penis and doctor won't be happy with me, but come on. Fried cheese!
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