Seriously dude, you need to stop beating off to the ellen show, it's just weird.
that's the type of pussy you go to the bathroom and wack off before you fuck her, just to last longer inside of her!
It took me 40.8 seconds to take a dump at her house, I know because I timed myself.
Already tried, she's too smart for that. I need a Primos "Do your wife in the butt" lure/call to trick her into wanting it
he's having a long distance Facebook-coordinated power hour. the status update has 159 comments ...
somehow we got the entire party to start singing "ill make a man out of you" from mulan. needless to say, that kid had the best keg stand i'd ever seen.
theres so much semen in my vacuum cleaner...
I don't have any food so I made a martini so I could eat the olives. Don't tell me I can't think outside the box.
The taxi driver was cool until you left. He then started blasting enya and telling me I look like I need another line.
I incognito puked under the VIP table. Did Jersey proud.
I can't believe she made out with my 15 year old brother. That kid can seriously pull.
You understand the drunkenness of my drunkenness
Hello. You don't know me, but word on the street is that we are now eskimo sisters. I feel like we should go out for coffee and compare experiences.
If, when you wake up, you're wondering why you're in the bathtub, it's because when I tried to move you, you yelled that that was cheating and tried to kick me in the face.
Fair enough.
Plan b and 5 hour enegery breakfast of a champion
Randomize
