Dude, I woke up in the middle of the night and your room mate was just standing there at the foot of the bed, watching us sleep.. you don't remember me shaking the shit out of you to tell you this?!
This could explain the reason why I've been finding his clothing and keys scattered in random parts of my room..
AND THIS DOESN'T WORRY YOU?!
I'm chasing vodka with french fries.
so im kinda of nervous about the whole bust inside event last night
Chinese roommate asked me this a.m when u left if all girls here have multiple boyfriends..
she looks like she scalped a horse for her weave
I am seriously considering thanking Macallan 18 in my thesis acknowledgments.
Be there soon... with munchies, blow jobs and shoulder rubs.
Strip club for my birthday. And none of this discrimination shit. We're going to a guys one and girls one. Go get your singles.
He came over and said its legs day so put them in the air! Fucked me for 30 minutes and said he had dinner reservations to go to. Well i just ran into him and his friends hammered at Taco Bell
I think the universe has a conglomeration of sentences reserved only for me.
I WOKE UP IN A FUCKING DOG BED HOW DO YOU THINK I FEEL
sooo trippy being back in town after 5 years. if you had asked me in high school who would be future coke heads, i would have been way off
I'm so baked, I spent the last hour trying to screencapture the cracks on my phone.
There is a cooked ham in the washing machine.
Success! We fucked roommates!
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