i wonder what megan fox's vagina feels like.
Heaven soaked bacon.
These people need to leave so I can have rum and Doritos at work like every other American.
he asked me to marry him on one of those scrolling message belt buckels.... what now?
I'm in my boyfriends bathroom and I shit so bad, there was no toilet paper but his mom's clothes were on the floor and I wiped my butt on her underwear... now it looks like she sharted
just found deep spiritual meaning in spongebob.... that high.
Girl farted next to me in class and then denied my high five
you're letting him buy you a plane ticket...to kentucky...so you can fuck him?
i know. i'm only adding to the interstate sex trade problem.
She is putting glow sticks from her bedroom to the bathroom. She is calling it 'Being prepared'. God help us all tonight...
My only downfall is that I can only take shots in twos.
I found a door knob in my purse this morning, I hope whoever it belonged to doesn't need it today.
hahahah
She came so hard that after she finished, she started a slow clap and then told me she pulled a muscle.
I gave him morning sex, a bag of cookies, and dropped him off at work. I believe I deserve the "best hookup award."
I wouldn't be able to live with myself if I blew a Trump supporter.
Blame the bisexuality and move on?
No dude shes like 5 feet tall and maybe 100 pounds... Normally i wouldnt be scared but someone gave her a bat. Thats why im in the bathroom
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