He asked to "fluff my boner.."
I was so drunk last night, I had to Wikipedia what i did.
taking shots each time the weatherman says Dont go out in this blizzard
I made popcorn. Partly so the room doesn't smell like sex, and partly to apologize for the things you saw when you walked in...
I was sitting on the floor of CVS chugging white grape juice until someone asked me to leave.
Even when you're not here I still manage to get pad thai in my vagina
He sent me a picture of myself smashed completely butt naked passed out on the couch and said "at least I'll have these memories"
Thanks for coming to the hospital with me, In return, I will buy you ecstasy.
He threw up the X he took like 30min before then when we thought his antics were over... BOOM! He tried to pee out a light he was holding.
I have a rage boner right now. An actual erection brought on by the amount of sheer hatred I have towards nationwide.
HE TRIED TO HIT ME WITH A CHAIR. Stoned video games are NOT happening again
Honestly, if you can handle putting socks on you can handle a condom.
I just want to be able to run around naked and eat grass with no judgments and have people feed me and expect me to sleep all the time.
They won't let me buy alcohol in the airport until 9am. Super judgemental
Leave it to you to bring a trash can into a fist fight.
Randomize
