She's perfect. Funny, gorgeous, 3 tats, been through a lot, bright. I'm in love.
actually, I'm a sock model
I just accidently tagged myself in the picture of the 16 year olds spreading their legs in bikinis. Failure.
I just had my first experience getting hit on by a guy. It was really awkward, he touched my chest and invited me to a gay bar because "women get drunk and let their guard down at gay bars"
thats actually pretty good logic
I'm fucking an ugly guy. Don't come home.
well now I have to
I can already almost taste penis in my mouth
i woke up the next morning in a pool of blood in my bathroom and a pinata donkeys head in my bed
so much for an anticlimactic 22nd birthday
Remember, ur body isn't a visitors center
I asked if he wanted to sext and he just started sending me pictures of his beard.
You can't just leave with hair like that
I just ate your leftovers whilst watching Garfield and Friends. Thank you across the board.
Where the hell did you pick this girl up? She just licked my cat and stole our last poptart.
If he gets me coffee, cold or no I'll make him see Jesus with my mouth.
Do you remember feeding the vacuum doritos last night?
Left my wallet at the store. Wouldn't have noticed if the joint I just rolled wasn't in it.
Randomize
