so I found out that he is the older brother of a friend of mine from high school
awkward
no it got awkward about 40mins later when he invited me to stay the night...with him and his girlfriend.
Successfully pulled the houdini tonight. Check that off my list.
So you really shouldn't go around telling people you're fireproof
she asked me if i wanted her to take her wedding ring off while she was giving me a handjob.
Just so you know, coffee creamer+water does not = milk.
dude, when you're random girl from last night came down the stairs this morning she fell all the way down. I laughed. She just walked out. I hope shes ok. Tell her I give her a 10 for that landing though.
theyll ask where you are and ill say on a date crying in a sombrero
like that time i did too much ghb at gay pride
She can drink whiskey without a chaser and has a fridge full of whipped cream. Girlfriend potential
The cops raided her house the day before class even started
Those assholes are becoming so efficient
QUIT RUINING DICK PICTURE DAY
I'm sorry you caught us fucking in your bathroom. If it makes you feel any better when I tried to put my pants back on I dropped them in the toilet.
You are the ghost of drunk bitches past, present, and future.
I just sent a dick pic to a number on Craigslist, this may be my new low
That means I have to put pants on. That is not something I am willing to do right now.
We were fucking in the bedroom then we heard Sports center on in the living room. He stopped midfuck when I started celebrating that my team won over his
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