elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
I'm pretty sure you called me last night and screamed that she was force-feeding you a bagel.
I have Retrograde Ejaculation as a side effect from one of my meds. Is this a respectable form of birth control?
I drunken agreed to go wedding dress shopping with a stranger at the bar yesterday. She sent me an email asking what days I am free.
Immediate regret. She's like a chihuahua on crack.
So like 5 seconds in I realize I knew him in 3rd grade and I went limp in his mouth. It felt like I just murdered the last unicorn ever. Going straight never felt like an option till now.
My mouth tastes like what I imagine a hobo's skin would taste like.
BING! You are now free to move about my panties. He just left for work.
Under no circumstances is tits McGee to make that kind of decision about my life!
You reeked of guilt and shame and we offered you pancakes
I just spent the last three days trying to hook up with a dude for his pool privileges
I mean, it was a fun hookup and he's cute and whatnot, but he wouldn't go down on me. Plus he's a republican. Idk why but those things feel like they go hand in hand.
I've never been to an orgy, but I would assume nachos wouldn't be out of the question at one.
I can guarantee he will smoke me out and I won't feel bad about it because he gets to touch my butt.
Grandpa just whipped it out and started pissing on the way to the game stuck in traffic. I saw EVERYTHING. :(
Randomize