i feel like im doing the pre-walk of shame..like every car that drives by is like, ooooo look at that girl, in that itty bitty dress, yep shes about to get her skank on tonight...
So Delta doesn't take cash. I used my card to buy a drink and asked the attendant if she could leave it open.
Pretty much knew it was gonna be awful when the extra condoms she had from her ex were entirely too big for my dick
She hadn't heard about the oil spill. She gave dumb blondes a whole new standard to aim for. I did her anyway...but that isn't the point.
I can't believe you just thanked me for a blowjob on my Facebook wall...
this whole plan B standoff thing with her is really starting to make me nervous
she fucked me tho cuz it was her cat's birthday. As soon as we were done she just says "ahhh tequila tuesdays"
I imagine her to be like a 19th century explorer/adventurer with different boys' hearts on her wall like animal heads
Like Teddy Roosevelt
Well at least it wasn't the first time I threw up out of a second story window
and somewhere between crying in her arms and throwing up in her front yard, we became friends.
it would be so handy to have a fax machine attached to my body
I wish I could understand how you function in society
Do you know what the cost code is for strip clubs? I'm filling out my company expense report right now
There should be a promo code on the Papa Johns website for "I have no moneys but if you send a cute delivery guy I will pay him in blow jobs."
I really have to stop going to the movies high. Spending $10 to not know what the fuck is going on is starting to get pricey.
Is it weird that sometimes I like to have sex for the health benefits and workout more than the pleasure
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