Dude ! Why is there vomit with whole pieces of sushi in the shower when the toilet is not more than 2 feet away ? btw you need to chew your food better,
You finger a girl once and she thinks she loves you. I'm going back to boys. Lesbians are needy.
There's an Captain Planet marathon because of Earth Day. I can't NOT turn this into a drinking game.
dude your girlfriend is running naked down the hall with a raw chicken taped to her stomach saying this is what I'll look like pregnant...run far far away
I dont know why people are racist. Both the mexicans and the irish gave us holidays where everyone drinks on a wednesday.
i felt obligated to tell him happy birthday since we trashed his house and i fucked his friend in his basement
She has puke on the back of her shirt not quite sure how the hell she did that
So fucking hammered. Is this all spelled right? I'm holding it up to my eye. I am on a boulder. I feel like an owl
So neither of us had a dollar bill and we couldnt find a straw so we spent all nite doing coke through penne pasta
My underwear are in the stairs so apparently I did take the dog out.
Slutty summer 2013 has officially started. I did accidentally bite a dick though.
I’m going to try to be less of a cryptic bitch this week. Should be nice.
So then edible panties?
Jesus no he likes candy too much, I'd lose a lip
btw...it's noon and i'm sitting here drinking wine and eating pixie stix. I really need to find something to do...
its not much but to go through all that to ask for half a balls worth of money was so stressful
Randomize
