Bea Arthur died yesterday
You shut your stupid mouth
Betty White is next, I just know it.
Betty White will never die! She's like Dick Clark. Rue McCalahan is next.
Just saw a white bronco on my way home from work and the license plate said "NOT OJ"
I came downstairs to find I had missed the 3some on my kitchen floor but not the pukefest or ER trip after it. This is what happens when the voice of reason is otherwise occupied
What's the second line of that rhyme that starts "Vicodin before scotch...?"
So if you ever need to know a guy who knows a guy who knows a guy that can put a 24oz beer can up his ass... Hit me up...
After blacking out and loosing my phone for a month, I found it in the parking lot across the street. Last text "rager in the street". I remember none of this.
We could supplement the Tour with Edward Andre-hands. Because 40s are for the 99%.
I may or may not go. send a pic of a nipple so I know how much fun you're having
i don't know what body building stuff he's on, but his cum is basically a 5 hour energy shot.
Also I would love to pregame at your place if I weren't stuck at mine drinking laxatives
How I know we're old. Don knows the owner. The owner said 'How about some shots?' We said no thanks. He looked puzzled and came back later and said 'You know it's on the house?' We said 'Yeah, no thanks.'
pesky things like morals, self-preservation and cowardice are not needed. overkill is nothing but a word. there will be blood.
i was so proud for not passing out at the same time as usual. i screamed that i had a "new personal best!" then some jackass explained daylight savings.
..and by hang out i don't mean fucking then going back home i mean let's get something to eat & watch a movie and fuck sometime in between.
We went to the midnight donut shop and you hopped the counter and told everyone to "Get the Fuck out of your Bar" but to also "Make yourselves at home".
Randomize