I dont shave on purpose to keep myself from being slutastic!! it usually works
I wake up every morning and wish that I didn't have to wear a bra
Could you please tell them to stop whispering "thundercunt" every time I walk in the room?
The new google images is a smorgasbord of porn now are plans for tonight are off.
we hotboxed my bathroom. with nine people and two dogs.
Whoever decided it was a good idea to sell 40's at a bar with life-sized jenga deserves a nobel prize.
nope. It turned out i wasnt the drunkest person asleep in tacobell parking lot.
You wrote me a check. For zero dollars. For my soul. Dick.
If my bootycall doesn't bring over a Baconnator, I swear to fucking God, I'm not letting him in. The hunger is that real. Forget his Persian dick.
Cause I'll toss Tabasco sauce in his eyes and yell "Cobra attack" and walk away
well I got an eye infection from a stripper motorboating me but overall it was a great weekend
Whatever. I have his dick. Haha how many girls can say they have a dildo replica of a guy they were seeing
I just want him to get into an accident where he's horribly disfigured but otherwise fine so he's not so freaking handsome
WTF ARE YOU DOING IT'S FUCKING VEGAN COFFEE IT'S MADE WITH NUT MILK YOU'RE NOT A FUCKING SQUIRREL.
I just found a nug casually in my room under my duffel bag. Is this a sign I need help?
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