I'm having a terrible night. Can I sleep over?
Too tired to pretend that I care : (
you ever get that eerie feeling when you walk in a room, when you know youve barfed here before.
there is just no excuse for touching your mothers vagina.
when life gives you lemons, puke and rally.
Dude she's famous. She's on an episode of campus pd. Can't not fuck her
I feel like I just rode a horse, did a million jumping jacks, ran a marathon and need a carton on cigarettes. best sex hands down... EVER
I really hope jumping jacks prevent pregancy because I'm kind of banking on it right now, do you know why there's a unicycle in the corner of my room?
Should i put up a tasteful banner for your party that says last chance to sleep with maya?
I thought I was invisible, then some guy flashed his high beams at me and I realized my lights weren't on...not invisible.
If your find a 12 pack on your doorstep consider it a gentleman's agreement to never speak of that night again
I warned you. Don't come crying to me when your vagina refuses to forgive you for this.
And I am bleeding like slutty girl #1 In a horror movie
Your youporn search history says otherwise.
He was literally screaming at me for using the same knife to scoop the peanut butter and the jelly.
I think I broke my dick but 10/10 would definitely do it again.
Randomize
